Friday, April 7, 2017

Trump ... Making America Great Again. Bigly.


"theonion:
WASHINGTON—After ordering the first U.S. military attack against the regime of Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad, President Donald Trump held a press conference Friday to express his full confidence that the airstrike had completely wiped out the lingering Russian scandal. “Based on intelligence we have received over the past several hours, the attack on the al-Shayrat air base in Homs has successfully eliminated all discussions and allegations about my administration’s ties to the Russian government,” said Trump, adding that at approximately 4:40 a.m. local time, 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles fired from U.S. naval ships obliterated all traces of the widespread controversy in news outlets across the media. “Ordering this strike was not a decision I took lightly, but given that it was the only way to decisively eradicate any attention being paid to congressional investigations into possible collusion between key members of my staff and high-ranking Kremlin officials, I decided it was a necessary course of action. If we learn that any remnants of this scandal remain after this attack, I will not hesitate to order further strikes.” Trump went on to say that he is leaving the option open for a potential ground invasion of Syria if any troubling evidence emerges that the Russian government manipulated the outcome of the 2016 presidential election."

I feel SO much safer with the Cheeto Jesus protecting me while I sleep. What would make me sleep more soundly, you ask? American Nuclear Weapons on the Korean Peninsula! What could go wrong with that idea? Believe me ...


2 comments:

  1. The Onion is going to have its hands full trying to be more satirical than what is actually going on in our country, isn't it?

    That sound you hear is (evidently) the sound of a swamp getting cleared...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, Buddy. Remembering the good old days when I THOUGHT I could tell the difference between real news and fake. Makes me miss Uncle Walter and Peter Jennings. A lot.
      I don't use twitter, and boy, HOWDY! am I glad I never have. The archive of tweets Trump made about Obama during Barrack's times of trial are SOOO revealing as to Trumps REAL character(lack of)and his actions taken in the past 77 days. I'll NEVER understand why humans seek fame. Between the glare of the light and the scrutiny of the microscope, unapparent blemishes become gaping flaws. Thanks but no thanks ...
      Thanks for your comment, Harry

      Delete

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